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Kids - conspicuously absent - Date with fate post 83
This entry was posted on 12/14/2011 1:30 AM and is filed under Fate Fairies.
I am rarely asked why I have no brothers and sisters. Social mores just don't seem to draw people into making queries about one's parents or guardians.
Conversely, both I and Heide have been asked for our whole 30 year marriage why we don't have any children. Society is funny that way. People with no siblings are off limits; childless couples seem to be fair game. It's cruel in a way. The sibling stories, or lack there of, are always more interesting to me. It speaks to learning about a previous generation's struggles.
But, we have no children, from previous relationships or our own. We spent a great deal of effort chasing jobs all over the country. But, that never stopped other people from having kids.
After about a dozen years of chasing our own tails we landed in a nice farm house on the edge of a nice little town in Wisconsin. It became apparent it might be a good place to raise kids. Heide even bought some books on raising kids. She got a thick book discussing names for kids. Apparently one must be careful how names may look, sound, or are ordered. We all remember back in school some kids with goofy sounding names, especially when a nickname proceeded a last name. Or, sometimes first letters make quirkey abbreviations. Regardless, Heide studied possible names and how they might look to a group of crass junior high kids on down the road.
There were plenty of problems we both could have foisted on any potential kid. Heide has asthma; I have a genetic heart and blood disorder. We are both prone to allergic reactions. But, I am thinking experts on the matter would say, "You shouldn't let that stop you."
No sooner we got settled into our nice rural house on the edge of the aforementioned small town, our lives were disrupted again. The guy that owned the house decided he wanted to live in it. My mother took a turn for the worse and was diagnosed with cancer. Both Heide and I had flare ups of our own health struggles. It all seems like convenient excuses now looking back.
"No chance of adoption?" we are further quizzed by people. I would present some of the same challenges previously mentioned. None-the-less, excuses, challenges, or what ever, we have no kids.
There is a stunning realization, about not having brothers and sisters and not having children. Like myself being the sole caregiver for my mother, the situation is notched up with me having no children. I have no children to rescue me - not that they would if they were around. I have heard plenty of sad family stories. It always bothers me when parents never talk about their kids. And likewise, you'd never know some people have siblings either.
But, I have also heard and seen plenty of situations where families rallied to help sick or aging parents or siblings. People seem to rise to the needs of others.
I wish I had an cleaver anecdote for the readers of this vignette on the absence of kids, but it is similar to not having brothers and sisters...,
...., it is what it is.
Note: This blog "Fate Fairies" Category does not list the brushes with fate chronologically - I write about the experiences as they pop up in my memory and I often revisit an older event. Go to the Cooldadiomedia Web site and the Fate Fairies Page for an ordered chronology.
Wisconsin Military Service Person Special Mention of the Week
(each week Cooldadiomedia mentions a Wisconsin service person killed in Iraq or Afghanistan)
Army Specialist Alun Richard Howells, 20, Parlin, Colorado (his parents reside in Menomonie, Wisconsin), died on Monday, August 13, 2007, in Baghdad, Iraq. He was killed by direct enemy fire in combat. Specialist Howells was assigned to Company E, 1st Battalion, 64th Armor Regiment, 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 3rd Infantry Division, based out of Fort Stewart, Georgia.
The Web site iraq.pigstye.net using information from the Gunnison County Times out of Gunnison, Colorado, notes Alun Howells was a 2005 graduate of the Gunnison Valley School. He enlisted in the military with two friends not too long after they all graduated. Specialist Howells was serving as a combat engineer in Iraq and had been in the country since mid 2007. The site went on to mention Howells' parents are British citizens who spent many years living in Gunnison. They formerly owned and operated a motel and liquor store in the area. Howells' father is a former officer in the British military. Due to his connections to both Great Britain and the U.S., Alun Howells maintained dual citizenship.
The Web site fallenheroesproject.org notes that Alun Howells grew up in the small community of Parlin, east of Gunnison. The Gunnison Valley School Howells attended emphasizes experiential education. Alun was remembered as going on camping, climbing, and skiing trips with classmates. A posted obituary added fly-fishing, hiking, mountain biking, and snow boarding to his list of interests. He participated in 4-H when he was younger, working in that organization with horses and sheep; he also loved to fish, camp, and hike. The Web site went on to say Howells’ parents moved to Wisconsin after Alun graduated. Howells had aspirations to enroll in college to get a degree in sports medicine after his military obligation.
The San Francisco Chronicle noted on their Web site imgs.sfgate.com that Alun Howells spent much of his teenage years in the goth culture wearing dark and gloomy clothes and thick makeup. But, he changed to a more conventional style while still in high school.
The Web site iraqnam.blogspot.com quoting from the Rocky Mountain News notes that the Gunnison Valley School Howells attended was an alternative campus for about 35 students and there he found his niche. The article said, "He became a student leader who served as a mentor for other youngsters and he participated in community projects for the disadvantaged."
The Web site freedomremembered.com mentioned Alun Howells was born on January 25, 1987 in Germany in a British military hospital. The family lived at several military bases around the world and eventually settled in Gunnison, Colorado when Howells' father retired. The family had spent time in Germany, Brunei, Hong Kong, and the United Kingdom. Alun entered the Gunnison Valley School in his sophomore year. After graduating he did spend some time in Menomonie, Wisconsin, where his family had subsequently relocated to. He joined the Army in January 2006. His jobs in the military included being an Obstacle Sapper, an Armored Combat Earthmover, and a Small Emplacement Excavator. He deployed to Iraq in May of 2007. Some of Howells' military awards, medals, and certifications include Combat Life Saver and Mine Detector Operator; the Bronze Star Medal; the Purple Heart; the National Defense Service Medal; the Iraq Campaign Medal; the Global War on Terrorism Service Medal; the Army Service Ribbon; and, the Combat Action Badge.
At the time of his death Army Specialist Alun R. Howells was survived by his parents Gwyn and Jaena Howells; two brothers Dafydd and Paul Howells: and his sister Sian Howells.
Army Specialist Alun R. Howells is the 101st military service person that has been identified by Cool Dadio Media as having Wisconsin connections and that has died in Iraq since the Spring of 2003.
As of this blog entry's posting date:
104,047 Iraqi civilians have been killed in Iraq since Spring, 2003 (actually documented).
10,125 Iraqi Security Forces have been killed in Iraq since Spring, 2003.
4,487 Americans have been killed in Iraq since Spring, 2003.
1852 Americans have been killed in Afghanistan since October, 2001.
318 Coalition soldiers have been killed in Iraq since Spring, 2003.
972 Coalition soldiers have been killed in Afghanistan since October, 2001.
1 American/Coalition casualty in Libyan "Operation Odyssey Dawn" since March, 2011.
32,226 U.S. troops have been wounded in action in Iraq since Spring, 2003.
592 Wisconsin military service persons have been wounded in Iraq since Spring 2003.
15,040 U.S. troops have been wounded in action in Afghanistan since October, 2001.
192 Wisconsin military service persons have been wounded in Afghanistan since October, 2001.
107 Wisconsin military service persons have been killed in Iraq since Spring, 2003.
36 Wisconsin military service persons have been killed in Afghanistan since October, 2001.
3 Wisconsin military service persons have been killed in the U.S. related to "The War on Terror" since September, 2001.
151 journalists (several nationalities) have been killed in Iraq since Spring, 2003.
22 journalists (various nationalities) have been killed in Afghanistan since September, 2001.
5 journalists (regional and independents) have been killed in Libya since March, 2011.
Wisconsin military service person special mention of the week, military casualty, and journalist casualty information sources: Committee to Protect Journalists; cnn.com; Milwaukee Journal Sentinel; washingtonpost.com; thehighground.org; Wisconsin Department of Veterans Affairs; iraqbodycount.org; www.defense.gov/news/casualty.pdf; and, icasualties.org .
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