Recent events in my life have prompted me to revisit a disturbing observation about society. The recent events for the sake of argument were a Wisconsin hospital visit. 

    Back in 2003 after graduating from a Wisconsin college with a Bachelor's Degree and a 3.65 grade point average, at 47 years old and already with 35 years of work experience, I applied at a Wisconsin grocery store chain to tide myself over until the "new career" rushed in. You know that "new career" promised by college public relations hacks; that new career that was surely to land me in paradise. Them there smart folks in the front office of yonder college said so. For my troubles, the mammoth grocery store chain, put me to work cutting lettuce. In retrospect, it was the canary in the coal mine warning. Seven years later, I work as a blue-collar hump, lifting tons of newspaper bundles for a Wisconsin publisher in the middle of the night. And, now with a Master's background compliments of the Wisconsin university system to boot. 

    Most of my work years, I rarely called in sick. I am what I think could be a dandy contributor to any company or project. Thousands of job applications later, I could still be cutting lettuce if I had not just walked out one day. Yet, society is slowly edging me out anyway. Oh, they will take my college tuition; and for sure they salivate over my volunteer (work for free) contributions. But, a meaningful job with dignity...get fucked old man. And now, society conveniently ducks behind its shitty economy when accused of institutionalized malfeasance. So what was the problem in 2003? The economy had not yet been destroyed for no good reason back then; back then when I dutifully cut that lettuce. Oh, that's right...it's my fault.

    I learned way back in Wisconsin technical college that we were on a new horizon. Discrimination was a thing on the wain. And, especially, old people would once again take their place as wise and respected elders...bull shit. Each phase of aging, you lose one more shred of freedom and dignity. Death by a thousand paper cuts. I used to drive truck at various jobs a great deal. You see, many workers of all ages, especially the young ones, have lost their licenses for one reason or another. It is an epidemic; even a fad. I however, have a perfect driving record. But, because of health related conditions, I must now only be signed off on, in the job driving physical for one year instead of like my younger co-workers and their two-year pass. I told work I do not want to drive any more. I made it easy for them to phase me out of that one. They did it grudgingly of course; as I said, its hard to find mooks who can drive these days. They love you when you save their asses late at night when there is no young dude to deliver the product. They hate you when you need a bone - a 25 cent pay raise -  to get by.  Welcome to the Wisconsin "new norm" work world. 

    And further, my wife wants me to quit work all together. Wives, in case you did not know (since few people get married anymore), are the harbingers of social norms and mores. They are the errand boys, enforcers, and apologists for society's nonsense.  Back in the old Soviet Union, they diagnosed political dissidents as mentally ill.  Wives do much the same thing if they are unable to nannify their man. 

    "They are killing you," she proclaims and maintains she alone will save me from the looming specters of senior citizen doom. I might tend to agree, but being beholden to a spouse for an allowance and stipend is a horrible prospect to a guy who has worked now for almost 45 years. 

    "There are people to help you," my wife says reassuringly. 

    Yes, I've met them. Those magical people, who ever they are, who have done a bang up job so far. Social Security wants me to die, perhaps start smoking and kick, to cull the pay-out ranks - to thin the herd of aging baby-boomers. Also, it is my observation and mine alone, that the American Association of Retired Persons (AARP) is just a lame front for insurance schemes and political hackery. The university career office says, "Bob who?" The Veterans' Administration says, "Robert Keith? Says here you died years ago sir."  Wisconsin Democrates have asked me to write for them for free; Wisconsin Republicans have asked me to write for them for free.  If I am going to write about two-party paradigm nitwittery as if I actually belive in it, I would at least like to be paid for it assholes.

    I am reminded of an exercise we did in nursing assistant training. We were asked to write down on a piece of paper 10 things we could take with us to a desert island. Then in round table, we each had to give up one thing at a time until we had only one thing left. 

    "That," the teacher said, "Is what it is like to get dumped in a nursing home." 
    
    So Teach, I am actually thinking after some salty life experience, the process starts a long time before the admission to the nursing home - apparently. 

    I saw former Colorado Governor Dick Lamm on a talking-head show the other day. He's the dude that got in hot water for saying in 1984, "We've got a duty to die and get out of the way with all of our machines and artificial hearts and everything else like that and let the other society, our kids, build a reasonable life." "Ol' Governor Gloom," was only 49 years old when he expelled that flatus from his lips. Oops, Gov, the truth is not what politicians are suppose to say. Here's to your prophetic wisdom, Governor Asshole!

    The doctors and nurses and staff worked like beavers to put me back together again last week. Yet, another cardioversion, I think the fifth since 2002. I try not to count them. It is a stressful, miserable experience. A cardioversion is where they kill you and then hope your heart starts again with a..."proper" rhythm. Somewhere in the process they shave your chest and shock you with a bolt of lightning. And, once again, I woke up after the procedure - my fate fairies must have been sober for a change.

    "We don't like to describe it that way," the doctor said. "Besides, your heart is only stopped for a bit." 

    "Dead is dead," I said. "Dead a billion years; dead a bit; I am still dead. What the fuck is the difference if you can't restart me?"

    "One of these days, they are going to leave you dead, Mr. Smartass," my wife warns. 

    But, the paradox of a bi-polar, schizophrenic society is, why go to so much trouble to save an old guy who society is apparently just going to keep shoving out of the way anyway?

    Over my college years, I applied to work at said hospital no less than five times. No response on the many job applications ever came. However, I was a volunteer for almost a year, in their emergency room - all lubby-dubby when I worked for free...of course. 

    So why the fuss over an old fool to keep him alive? Yes, I know they are beholden to medical ethics..."do no harm," and, "manage the pain," and, "return the patient back to society better than you found him," and on and on. 

    But it just seems contrary to logic, and a first class paradox, for one group of society to work so hard to save some poor schlep who is just going to be ground in the Wisconsin economic dirt by other banal segments of society immediately there after. Even dear readers, ground down to the precipice of abuse and misery. 

    Wait, "What's that dear?" My wife is looking over my shoulder.

    Oh, I got it. 

    I have good insurance.

                      Wisconsin Military Service Person Special Mention of the Week
    (each week Cooldadiomedia mentions a Wisconsin service person killed in Iraq or Afghanistan) 

    Army Staff Sergeant Patrick L. Lybert, 28, of Ladysmith, WI, died in Gowardesh, Afghanistan, on Wednesday, June 21, 2006. His unit encountered enemy forces using small arms fire and rocket-propelled grenades during combat operations. Staff Sergeant Lybert was assigned to the 1st Platoon, C Troop, 3rd Squadron, 71st Calvary, 3rd Brigade Combat Team, 10th Mountain Division (Light Infantry), out of Fort Drum, New York. Lybert entered the United States Army in August of 2002. He had also served a tour in Iraq from 2003 to 2004. Lybert was deployed to Afghanistan in February of 2006. According to a posting on blogspot.com honoring Staff Sergeant Lybert, awards and decorations include the Bronze Star Medal, Purple Heart, Army Commendation Medal, Army Achievement Medal with one Oak Leaf Cluster, Army Good Conduct Medal, National Defense Service Medal, Non-Commissioned Officer Professional Development Course, Overseas Service Ribbon, Afghanistan Campaign Medal, Iraq Campaign Medal, Global War on Terrorism Service Medal, Combat Infantryman Badge, Expert Infantryman Badge, Parachute Badge, and posthumously in February 2007 he was awarded the Silver Star. The blogspot posting went on to mention Patrick has a Special Needs Brother who has Asperger Syndrome (Autism). And, the posting goes on to say Patrick's goal was to return to his home area in Wisconsin after retiring from the military and become caretaker and Guardian for his Special Needs Brother's future. He also had plans to marry his fiance. According to a posting by the Ladysmith News, there is a remote outpost in the Hindu Kush mountains of northeast Afghanistan (near the Pakistan border), named for Lybert - Camp Lybert - is referred to as the Edelweiss of Afghanistan because of its rugged mountain beauty. It is atop a 6,500 foot high mountain. Wisconsin 2005 - 2006 Assembly Joint Resolution 109 noted Patrick graduated from Ladysmith High School in 1996, and also graduated from Western Technical College in La Crosse with a degree in criminal justice before enlisting in the Army. He also excelled in athletics, especially wrestling; other sports included baseball, cross country, and football. He was awarded the Outstanding Senior Boy Athlete Award from the Ladysmith Jaycees. Staff Sergeant Lybert enjoyed scouting and earned an Eagle Scout rating. At the time of his death, Staff Sergeant Lybert was survived by his mother and stepfather, Cheryl and Terry Nussberger; his father and stepmother, David and Janet Lybert; his fiancé, Carola Hubbard; his brothers, Stacy Lybert and Noah Nussberger; his grandparents, Robert and Helen Patrick, Frances Kettering; and, his stepgrandfather, George Kettering. Army Staff Sergeant Patrick Lybert was the seventh Wisconsin military service person to be killed in Afghanistan since October of 2001.

          As of this blog entry's posting date:

    97,110 Iraqi civilians have been killed in Iraq since Spring, 2003.
    
    9,566 Iraqi Security Forces have been killed in Iraq since Spring, 2003.

    4,413 Americans have been killed in Iraq since Spring, 2003. 

    1206 Americans have been killed in Afghanistan since October, 2001.

    318 Coalition soldiers have been killed in Iraq since Spring, 2003.

    760 Coalition soldiers have been killed in Afghanistan since October, 2001. 

    31,888 U.S. troops have been wounded in action in Iraq since Spring, 2003. 

    7,011 U.S. troops have been wounded in action in Afghanistan since October, 2001. 

    102 Wisconsin soldiers have been killed in Iraq since Spring, 2003.

    19 Wisconsin soldiers have been killed in Afghanistan since October, 2001.

    142 journalists (several nationalities) have been killed in Iraq since Spring, 2003.

    21 journalists (various nationalities) have been killed in Afghanistan since October, 2001.

Wisconsin military service person special mention of the week, military casualty, and journalist casualty information sources: Committee to Protect Journalists; cnn.com; Milwaukee Journal Sentinel; washingtonpost.com; thehighground.org; Wisconsin Department of Veterans Affairs; iraqbodycount.org; and, icasualties.org.