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Fifth Job of Bob - Army Part VI - Kirby has a plate in his head from 'Nam; no Pfennigs for the shitter door-lock - then just shit in the goddamned urinal
This entry was posted on 7/7/2010 1:39 AM and is filed under Jobs of Bob.
Somebody at work the other day made a comment in the bathroom that reminded me of Ol' Kirby and an experience I witnessed back in the Army. Ol' Kirby had done a tour in 'Nam and had a metal plate in his head from a combat wound. Actually, he looked just like Sammy Davis Jr. - same size, same crooked eye, same hair, same speech.
One day we were in convoy up the Autobahn in Germany. At their rest areas you had to put some German coins in the shitter stall to get in the damn door - about five cents, or Pfennigs, in German. Poor Kirby did not have any change. The couple of us in the bathroom at the time did not either.
Poor Ol' Kirby said, "Hey, Keith baby. Give me some goddamned fucking Pfennings...I got the shits man!"
Me and the other guy just shrugged. We just did not have any damn change that day.
"Oh hell," Kirby said with a sick look. "I got to shit bad, Keith baby!"
The next thing we knew, Ol' Kirby was dropping trou' and heading for the wall-mounted urinal. Me and the other guy booked out of there. Ol' Comrade German cleaning dude had a little surprise waiting for him compliments of Kirby. "Comrade" was a name we gave the collective German population.
I will say this, that the first time I ever saw a sink or urinal flusher that was activated by a movement scanner, was in Germany. It was way back in 1975. Hell, some of the guys I served with from some podunk towns in America did not even have running water as kids.
But then again, during the height of the Cold War we Americans numbered around half a million military personnel in Europe. I guess since us podunk suckers were carrying old Comrade's water for him, he could focus on developing motion scanners in his fucking shitters.
I remember the first time I used a sink with no handles in Germany. I was lost as a motherfucker. Some of the more tech-savvy guys got a big kick out of my naivety with that good German technology.
Ol' Kirby kind of evened the score for us lesser mortals that fateful day.
Note: This blog "Jobs of Bob" Category does not list the jobs chronologically - I write about the experiences as they pop up in my memory and I often revisit an older job. Go to the Cooldadiomedia Web site and the Jobs of Bob Page for an ordered chronology.
Wisconsin Military Service Person Special Mention of the Week
(each week Cooldadiomedia mentions a Wisconsin service person killed in Iraq or Afghanistan)
Petty Officer 2nd Class Jaime Suzanne Jaenke, 29, of Bay City, Wisconsin, died Monday, June 5, 2006. She was killed as a result of enemy action when her Humvee was struck by a roadside bomb in Al Anbar province, Iraq. Jaenke was a Navy Seabee Reservist and assigned to Naval Mobile Construction Battalion 25, U.S. Navy Reserve, based out of Fort McCoy, Wisconsin. She was one of two sailors killed in the incident. Jaenke was a corpsman and field medic assigned to the Naval unit which gave combat service support for the 1st Marine Expeditionary Force. Her unit was activated in January and sent overseas in March. Jaenke was activated in January with the unit and had been overseas for a few months before the attack. As Seabee reservists, her unit provided infrastructure support for combat officers, such as building airstrips and housing. Bay City, Wisconsin is a small town on the Mississippi River on the Minnesota-Wisconsin border just south of Minneapolis and St. Paul. However, Jaime was claimed as a native by a couple of states. The Des Moine Register noted her as from Iowa Falls and said she was the first female Iowan to die in the war in Iraq. They also noted she was the forty-second Iowan to die in Iraq and Afghanistan since 2001. Jaenke had ties to Wisconsin, Iowa and Minnesota, according to Minneapolis television station KARE. Before joining the Naval Reserves, Jaenke worked as an emergency medical technician in Ellsworth, Wisconsin. The Des Moine Register said Jaenke lived in Iowa Falls during her early childhood attending kindergarten through second grade there. The family then moved to Bay City, Wisconsin, where she graduated from the Ellsworth High School. The Des Moine Register went on to mention she had only recently returned to Iowa after living for years in Minnesota and had planned to start an equestrian business in Iowa Falls when she returned from Iraq. The Milwaukee Journal Sentinel noted her as the 57th member of the military from Wisconsin to die in Iraq and the third Navy female casualty. Jaime acquired a love for horses at an early age. She began riding at age 7 and continued for the rest of her life. She planned to attend the Ellsworth Area Community College in their nursing program. She also planned then to return to her love of horses at her parents’ stables in Iowa Falls. After a brief marriage and the birth of her daughter, she began working for the Best Maid Cookie factory, and also worked for Ellsworth Area Ambulance as an Emergency Medical Technician in Ellsworth, Wisconsin. She later worked for Xcel Energy as an armed guard at their Prairie Island facility. Jaenke attended Prairie View Elementary School in Hager City, Wisconsin and went to middle school and high school in Ellsworth. The Iowa Falls Times Citizen Obituary Archives stated that her funeral was held in Iowa Falls with military honors. She was laid to rest at the Alden Cemetery in Alden, Iowa. Jaime was born on November 12, 1976 in Iowa Falls. At the time of her death she was survived by daughter Kayla; bothers Garrett, Ryan, and Justin; and parents, Larry and Susan Jaenke. Jaime Jaenke was the 42nd Iowan to die in Iraq and Afghanistan since 2001; and, the 57th Wisconsin military service person to die in Iraq since the spring of 2003.
As of this blog entry's posting date:
96,844 Iraqi civilians have been killed in Iraq since Spring, 2003.
9,550 Iraqi Security Forces have been killed in Iraq since Spring, 2003.
4,411 Americans have been killed in Iraq since Spring, 2003.
1152 Americans have been killed in Afghanistan since October, 2001.
318 Coalition soldiers have been killed in Iraq since Spring, 2003.
746 Coalition soldiers have been killed in Afghanistan since October, 2001.
31,860 U.S. troops have been wounded in action in Iraq since Spring, 2003.
6,355 U.S. troops have been wounded in action in Afghanistan since October, 2001.
102 Wisconsin soldiers have been killed in Iraq since Spring, 2003.
19 Wisconsin soldiers have been killed in Afghanistan since October, 2001.
142 journalists (several nationalities) have been killed in Iraq since Spring, 2003.
21 journalists (various nationalities) have been killed in Afghanistan since October, 2001.
Wisconsin military service person special mention of the week, military casualty, and journalist casualty information sources: Committee to Protect Journalists; cnn.com; Milwaukee Journal Sentinel; washingtonpost.com; thehighground.org; Wisconsin Department of Veterans Affairs; iraqbodycount.org; and, icasualties.org.
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